I have a confession: I’m deeply suspicious of gurus. Particularly the ones who’ve supposedly discovered the revolutionary formula that will solve everyone’s problems. I’m sorry, but human beings just don’t work that way.

You’ve been feeling stuck. Maybe you’re burned out, struggling with a big decision, or noticing that you keep falling into the same frustrating patterns. You know you’d benefit from some support, but you’re not sure what kind. Should you see a therapist? Hire a life coach? Both? Is there a quiz somewhere that can tell you what your particular flavor of existential distress requires?

It’s a fair question, especially when the coaching industry offers approximately 47 different definitions of coaching, most accompanied by an invitation to book a discovery call (insert jazz hands).

Most suffering begins when reality and expectation drift apart. And nowhere is that gap more painful than in the stories we tell ourselves about capacity. We make plans based on who we wish we were. Then we judge ourselves for being who we are. The result is often a life that feels strangely adversarial. As though we're managing ourselves instead of caring for ourselves. As though we're supervising a disappointing employee rather than supporting a worthwhile human being.